I have a cat laying on a pillow in the cat room. He is in a deep torpor, he had his teeth cleaned two hours ago. He was quite ill, hadn’t been eating, or drinking much, so he isn’t in the best shape for anesthetic.

So I wait. I wait to see if my beloved Jefferson will wake up. I experience the passage of time in trepidation! Time to wait. I sometimes wish for time to pass by me, slip around me, but it never does. It always affects me in some way or other.

I meditate, the hardest part being to separate myself from time, letting myself float in limbo. I guess I am not really separating from time, because it always wears on me. It carries me through it, whether I protest or not

I said I try to meditate. I do, but how successfully I am not sure! I find myself focused on my breathing, but quickly I will be thinking of that time I did this, thought that, experienced something. Back to time!

I would give anything, though for Jefferson to wake up this time, because I love him, and that’s due to the time I’ve spent with him.