We are made of stars and the day after I die I will start to deteriorate back into those simple elements. I will become pieces of the periodic table. If I leave some money in my will perhaps this website will last a little longer, that and possibly my cats.

I moved to Belize when I was 62. I studied cooking when I was 29. Theses journeys may not seem like much, but they mean a lot to me. I met some people who I have grown to call my friends and some who I genuinely love, not in a romantic, passionate way, but still love.

If this is life it doesn’t seem like much. I look back and think what is there, to leave a mark. I guess that’s what drives the tyrants, politicians, sports stars, creators and just about everyone else, in their own way.

Is it because I am not leaving any spawn behind? That is an emmense source of pride for many people. Keep the family name going and all. Perhaps that has something to do with it. Although I am glad I didn’t bring any hostages into my addicted life.

I think that has lots to do with the longing, but I will have to make do with the only things that are left when we leave. The thoughts in others minds(usually the ones that love us or hate us, and sometimes those people can be the same) and our art.

I hope that one day someone will speak my name and the dust that is part of the stars will stir, a little.