I stand at the door, handing out candy in various forms to roving bands of kids, who range in age from 4 to 18. They come from homes and graveyards, dressed in costumes, some terrifying, some inventive and some with not much forethought.

I think back to my years as a child getting dressed in the parka and pulling the homemade costume over top. we would go down the block ringing peoples doorbells and strangely enough they would open and you would get candy. What a concept !!

Mom or Dad always came with us when we were young, to keep us safe. Speaking of safe, we always went through our haul to ostensibly check for razor blades, pins and such. In reality we were making lists in our heads as to what we got and when we would eat it. In our teens we would go it alone ranging far and wide filling our pillow cases on those cold dark nights populated with roving bands of monsters, clowns and other misfits.

There were the stories of houses getting egged, burning piles of shit on doorsteps and toilet paper streaming from trees. I personally never saw this, but who knows I was pretty focused on candy. These stories were usually spread the next day in school. On our way the next morning we would often have to kick our way through the snow, as Halloween always seemed to herald the coming and staying of snow.

If we were prudent we could make our candy last till the end of November and then Christmas was just around the corner. Where has that excitement gone ? Now I stand here with a mask on my face to keep in the tears and fears of a life gone askew. Now the horror show is usually on the inside and it doesn’t wait for any specific day, it comes and comes.

Some days this is how I feel, or not feel as the case may be. Some days I can see the light and follow my heart towards it. I am laughing again.  That’s a great sign.

Come on kids.