I was walking last night through the trees down by the river and the way I felt it was a scary place to be, even though a familiar one. I haven’t been doing so good lately and I don’t feel at home any more. I feel like the tree that has all its branch’s chopped off. A tree that is just a stump of its former self.

That is how my soul feels, just a stump of its former self. I have seen my love and the light inside slip away. I am now standing here in the dark wondering how it happened ?

It seems like I don’t belong anymore. How did I get back into this place of isolation where I feel that the only recourse is to hurt myself to numb the pain.

I have made a start. I have let the pain out in front of you. If I keep doing that and not letting it fester inside it can’t block the light. It is so easy to go back to what I know. I want so much more for me and others, but I can’t see it if I am in the dark. I can’t give it away if I don’t have it myself.

I will humble myself and reach out my hand. I don’t want to. I am “all that” don’t you know. I have to do it. I can’t live like this anymore. I want to see new shoots flower on my black stump and for that it needs light. I want the Raven to have a beautiful tree to land on when he comes to take me home.