I’ve been walking a long time. Its winter and the snow is deep. I’m cold so, so cold. I am going to freeze to death. How did I get here, I ask myself ? I started walking like everybody else, but some how I lost sight of the rest, or strayed to far, or felt that I didn’t belong. I have walked for many miles alone, through valleys, on the plains, sometimes slogging through mud. I spent time swimming against the flow. After a time I felt I couldn’t walk anymore because of the pain, so I took something for the pain. Now I can’t walk a step with out it. I am running out of time. You see, it doesn’t work anymore.

As I said its winter now, dark and desolate, and yet I must move or I will die. I have been climbing a mountain for a long time now, up and up. At the worst, when I have no feeling left, when I am so numb that I could just lay down and sleep I feel a hole in the mountain side ahead of me. I crawl in, glad for the shelter. It’s fetid and oppressive, but there seems to be heat. I crawl to the pitch black dark in the back, as I go I can hear slow methodical, rasping breath. As I put my hand on the paw I realise that I am in a grizzly den.

The bear stirs and I am consumed with fear. What do I do ? Where do I go ? Back out to the raging storm that is my Life, or do I stay here with the bear ? I crouch motionless, scared to even breathe. The warmth of the bear is delicious. I think, I can’t go back, I can’t.

I imagine the bear laying there with talons on his paws that have ripped the flesh of large animals apart. The carnivorous teeth that have feasted on that flesh. I waver towards the cold, but the heat is pulling me back. I struggle with myself, my head saying leave and my heart saying no more cold. It comes to me that even this close to the heat I will not survive the cold. I have little choice in the matter, if I want to live I must get close to the bear.

I crawl forward till I am shivering next to the animal, is it the cold or is it that fear that the medicine has squelched for so long now. I am still not warm enough, I squirm in closer, next to the great beasts belly, under his paws. As I luxuriate in the embrace of the warmth, with breath moist on my neck, I realise what I have done.

I fall asleep to the gentle swelling and falling of the chest behind me and I dream of the walk. I am with you, we walk hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder. We trip and fall, helping each other to our feet. We break a path for each other, reaching out our hand to lift and guide. Always there is one who can point towards the Light

I wake refreshed, surrounded by light, ready to walk. As I get up I put aside the teddy bear I have held through the long cold, dark night