Isn’t there supposed to be someone that tells you that you are okay, while you are growing up ? Shouldn’t there be a book that people have to read that says one thing: tell that kid that they are okay the way they are.

Why do people have to make them selves feel better at the expense of others ? Why do we often need to feel worthwhile by comparing our selves to others, or worthless by comparing our selves to the same people ?

I lived in that stultifying darkness for way to long. Wondering why I didn’t feel the Light. I didn’t even know what the Light was. I had momentary glimpses of what I thought was happiness, but not what I know today as the vast ocean of Love that makes it all worth while. That makes me feel worthwhile !

I am blessed. I have found a spot where I fit. That spot is just the right shape for me. It grows as I expand or shrink. It connects me to myself and others. I feel such empathy for others like myself who have not found that spot. You can see it in their eyes, the longing of their look.

That spot is there for all of us. Sometimes it is a long journey to find that spot. I don’t know whether my Father ever really found his spot. I know that he found something that he was good at, which is not the same. I am a great cook, but that didn’t help me belong. Till I believed that I was like you, I couldn’t connect with you.

How could I believe that. My Father never told me that he loved me, I had to start by telling him that I loved him. He was never really comfortable when I said that, I don’t think that anyone ever told him that he was okay. I was 56 years old when my Mother told me she was proud of me ! This is how she said it: I am proud of you, you know. NO, I didn’t know. How could I know if you never told me before. I am lucky, some people never hear it.

I tell people that I love them, today. I tell them that I am proud of them, and in telling others, I believe it of myself.

I was thinking: I am okay.