I had a cat

My cat died

I don’t have a cat any more, but is that really true ? I still feel her. I still hear her. I still see her, and I still smell her. So is she really gone ?

I cried on her lifeless body. Her food dish is gone, and the litter box is not nearly as full now. Its funny how much that disturbed me, cleaning out the kitty litter !

I cry and I feel the loss so much, but what am I really mourning ? The future is what I am mourning. I still have the past. I don’t know what today or tomorrow would have brought.

A part of me wants to negate all that she gave me for a future that was and is uncertain.

I want more.

Is that fair to burden her with that expectation ? Do I have the right to ask her to comfort me, by still being here, even though she was so tired and sick.

I miss her so much, but I am going to let her go now. Rest easy my beloved friend.